Alecc B. on "The Heartbreak Kid"

I'm sure Neil Simon is turning in his grave right now. What? He's not dead?! Oh, well, then that might actually be worse because now he can go see what Peter and Bobby Farrelly have done to remake his story for The Heartbreak Kid.

The Farrelly Bros. have kind of tanked for almost a decade now. They started off great by giving us Jim Carrey's funniest film, Dumb And Dumber. Following that was their underrated Kingpin, with the brilliant Bill Murray in full-on asshole mode. One of the Farrelly's biggest hits would have to be 1998's There's Something About Mary, a film that was very funny the first couple of times I'd seen it, but hasn't aged well since. After those flicks, the Farrelly's have written and directed nothing but mediocre films like Shallow Hal, Stuck On You, and Me, Myself, And Irene.

I'm not saying that the 2007 update for Heartbreak is completely terrible, but it is far more boring than it is funny. This Ben Stiller comedy also kills the good streak R-rated comedies had going for them this year.

PLOT

Eddie Cantrow has a commitment problem. One day, he meets Lila, a beautiful blonde that he tries to help after she's mugged. They hit it off and Eddie decides to take the plunge and asks her to marry him. For their honeymoon, they drive down to Mexico to enjoy Cabo San Lucas! On their road trip though, Eddie begins to see that Lila isn't the woman he thought she was. Upon discovering that Lila could be certifiablycrazy, Eddie begins to regret his choice to marry her. But that's not all!!!! I know, you're bursting with fruit flavor right now! While on this vacation from hell, Eddie meets Miranda, a cute and easy-going woman who's traveling with her family. They have an almost instant connection, and now Eddie must decide if he wants to stay with his psycho for a wife or go with what his heart is telling him.

ACTING

With the exception of a few scenes, Stiller looks absolutely bored here as Eddie. Maybe he's just tired of playing the same guy that has the worst luck with women. I know I'm tired of seeing him in this kind of role. Malin ("I'm the chick who had a threesome with E and Sloan on Entourage!") Akerman has a great time playing Lila. I believe this is her biggest film role so far, and she doesn't hold back. It also doesn't hurt that she's smokin' hot and gets nekked a few times. Boom! Michelle Monaghan plays Miranda, and brings the best out in Stiller during their scenes together. The chemistry between them is very nice and Monaghan just seems so natural. In other words, if I was on vacation and met a girl like her, I would be drawn to her just as easily as Eddie is. Stiller's real-life father, Jerry, plays his on-screen father here, Doc. He's funny in a couple of scenes, but nothing like the great stuff he brought to Seinfeld or The King Of Queens. Rob Corddry plays the lame best friend back home, Mac, and his performance is…pretty lame. Unfortunately, whoever goes to see this film will have to sit through a few scenes with Carlos Mencia playing the hotel manager, Uncle Tito. Mencia is just not funny. He's an obnoxious comedian that is loud for the sake of being loud. In Heartbreak, he's tamed down, but still equally terrible.

WRITING & DIRECTING

The Farrelly Bros. has some help with script from Scot Armstrong, Leslie Dixon, and Kevin Barnett. With all of these brains put together, they still delivered a pretty dull screenplay. The biggest problem I found here was the fact that there was no build-up to show that there might be something wrong with Lila. At first, she's completely normal. As soon as they're married, she's a completely different character. Yes, there have been movie characters before that aren't who they originally seemed to be, but at least there were hints dropped to show that there's more to them.

As for the direction, it's pretty stale, like most Farrelly flicks. The best looking thing on-screen, besides the two female stars, is the hotel they stayed at. Now that looks like a nice place to have a vacation!

There are a couple of laugh out loud scenes, especially one sequence involving Stiller trying to sneak back into America from Mexico after his passport was destroyed. That scene had me in stitches and gave me hope that the rest of the film would end on a good note. Unfortunately they dragged the finale out longer than it should have been.

I know I'm making this film sound awful, and I have to admit that it's not. It's just not very good. The Heartbreak Kid falls into the "It Wasn't That Bad But I'll Probably Forget About It After Dinner The Next Day" category.

Overall Review: ** stars

Best Line:

Stiller: What is your obsession with this pussy-crushing counting?